Surprise!!

Can I sneak in un-noticed I wonder? Has everyone forgotten about us?!!!!

Hopefully not, but I do apologise for not keeping up with this in recent months. To be honest, it's been a very difficult thing to maintain, even though initially I thought it'd be quite a theraputic thing to do. We all know how much I like to talk ;) However, I found myself wanting to keep away from being too public about things, so have left it be for a while, and also haven't wanted to just moan moan moan at every opportunity, you know that's not me ;)But I do apologise for retreating slightly. Was strange how protective I felt of both my children and myself, suppose hiding away was a coping stategy. I have taken plenty of pictures through out her treatment, so she has a record for when she's older and if she gets curious. I wont post them on here, again, I feel very protective of them, and not ashamed of them, but they show an experience very personal to the battle Cerys and I faced, so will keep them more private for the time being.

However, we are now back home...one New Bone Marrow better off, and even though it's very early days, already it has made such a difference. I am sat in my own house, whilst they both chill =)

She had a really tough time with the chemo, far worse that I know I was ever expecting, and it kept her in hospital for far longer than we thought too. The bravery and courage and strength of spirit she showed humbled me to the core, and I will always think twice before feeling sorry for myself when my head is hurting ever again. How I have raised such a strong little girl is way beyond my comprehension, and I now have a sneaking feeling there must be some sort of magical force behind it!! In fact, I'm ashamed to say it seems to be the case that she kept me sane throughout it all, rather than me providing her with care!!

Anyhow, after three months of chemotherapy and ten sessions of radiotherapy ( an experience in itself!! The staff at clatterbridge took quite a liking to her, even bought her a bagful of gifts when she'd finished)she had a Bone Marrow Transplant on the 17th of August. It all went really really well, with only a few of the side effects they'd warned us about, and no-way through did it look like she'd need the intensive care we'd been warned about. Alder Hey are now advising new patients that the Cerys way is the way to do it ;) The staff were wonderfully supportive, and helped to keep spirits up, and thanks to all those who came to see us, and to those who bought us cards, gifts, and just generally asked after her.

I found it very difficult to be seperated from Iwan so long, and when Jon bought him up so the pair of us could stay the night together in mac house, sod's law decided I'd end up with suspected swine flu!! Could not believe it!!! But it all passed fairly well, and on the 7th of September, I drove my baby girl home with a much lighter heart than I had when I drove her in.

It's now nearly a month since we came home, and apart from a little bit of nausea, she's remained fairly healthy. My kitchen is very much like Boots, and I'm dab hand at all the medicines and dressings! The hospital have just switched us to bi-weekly checks rather than the weekly ones, and first looks at her marrow now look good. We should have a better idea of what's going on in about ten days time when we get the full results back, and I'm presuming we take it from there. Her counts have remained consistant though, and she's even made her own blood for the first time since last June. Both her and Iwan are going a little stir crazy indoors, but we're trying to make things out of play dough and do a bit of painting and cooking, and we've had a couple of friends over to play so far.

So basically that was it!! Well, so far anyhow. I was expecting to relax a little when I'd got her home, but there's still that feeling of uneasy inside for a little while I think. It was far harder than I ever thought, and not for one minute did I expect to feel such highs and such lows. It was a very lonely and isolating yet frustrating experience, as well as humbling, as the children who are facing this really are the most amazing people I've ever met. I've made some lifelong friends who we love dearly, and met some people who haven't had the chance to follow the same path as we have, doesn't even bear thinking about. It will probably take a good while to come to terms with it all, that is if nothing else is thrown at us!!! But at the moment, we're just enjoying a taste of normal everyday life =) It's kinda bliss!!!!

There's so much moreI could write, it's been such a rollercoaster six months, but the main thing is, we're hopefully on the homeward stretch.

Cerys, I am unbelievably proud of you. You have shown such strength and pure joy throughout, made me feel ashamed for every tear I cried. You really are wonderful, and if anyone deserves to live happily ever after, it's you sweetheart. Here's hoping we did it baby =)